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Spooferific Horoscopes!

Capricorn-You’ll be meeting someone who will present you with a unique career opportunity. With some luck, you won’t be introduced to the bumper of their Mini Cooper first.

Aquarius-Goodness, you’ve got a mouth like Ron Weasley, you have! It might be best to take a deep breath and remain calm before you let the proverbial bloody hells fly. You may end up something you regret.

Pisces– Feeling a bit blue? Fret not, you have a  friend who is willing to listen to your sad tune and offer up some much needed advice. Ahhh, the friendship of Harry and Ron…

Aries-In the next couple days, you’ll disarm some potentially important people with your words and your negotiating skills will be in top form. You’ll finally get that contract signed. Perhaps we should send YOU to get that Eddie The Eagle contract finalized, goodness.

Taurus-Don’t hold back your natural, personal talents in the next few days; as you will have some success in showcasing them to others. Think-Rupert Grint, post-Potter. Yeah!

Gemini-Much like Malachy McKinney, you’re oozing the sexy factor lately. Now might be a good time to get a makeover or go shopping for some new clothes.

Cancer-Hermione wants to attend a public meeting about abused house elves, while Ron wants to go to a Quidditch match. What a catastrophe.  You’re significant other wants to go somewhere  that you find weird and uninteresting. Pull the old quid pro quo trick and you’re mini crisis will be diverted quite successfully.

Leo-With all the chores you need to need to get done, you’ll wish you could whip up a brilliant housekeeping spell like Molly Weasley! But have no worries, you’ll be able to breeze through the big stuff with ease; just in time to have a leisurely evening with your friends.

Virgo-You’re full of boundless energy lately, but have some unchanneled anxiety. Instead of focusing on what you’re afraid is going to happen, envision what you want to happen. Follow the butterflies….

Libra-You’ll be a regular Hermione Granger when you point out the bigger picture to some friends or family members, who are wrapped up in some selfish concerns.

Scorpio-Much like our favorite ginger, Rupert Grint, you are coming upon a crossroads of your life, and are acutely aware of it. Follow your instinct, and be careful of how you react to change.

Sagittarius-Your desire to see “Cherrybomb” in a theater far away from you, is being thwarted by some traveling plans that have become somewhat of a challenge. Don’t give up-you’ll get where you need to go.

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Rupert Grint Character-Related Spooftastic Horoscopes!

Capricorn-You have no money, but have an urgent need to meet Rupert Grint at the Deathly Hallows premier in November. Avoid anything foolish, like selling both of your kidneys. Yes, Rupert is sexy, but portable dialysis machines are not sexy. Think of another way to get the money, perhaps you could become a hitman’s apprentice by night…

AquariusYou desperately need an escape route from real life issues that have torn you away from “Rupertland”. Use your strength, intelligence, and desire to help to make things go smoother. Think, Ron in Deathly Hallows.

PiscesNeed some alone time? Find a quiet space to meditate in; and continuously chant, “Super Rupert, Super Grint,” out loud until it becomes your mantra. By the time you reach transcendence, you will have devised a way to achieve world peace with ice cream and tasteful ginger wigs.

AriesA night out on the town is just what you need; however, someone may be trying to set you up on a hot date. And no, it’s not Rupert; unfortunately, it never is. But give the potential beau a fighting chance, preferably if you refrain from constantly fantasizing about Rupert’s legs in Wild Target.

Taurus-Smooth-talking your way into gainful employment is going to be quite easy for you in the near future, you should totally do it! Channel the character of Malachy McKinney before your interview to get yourself warmed up. Avoid the quiff and the heavy Irish accent though. Believe me, it won’t flatter you and your possible employer will think you’re focking mental.

Gemini-How can anyone study or get any work done with Cherrybomb and Wild Target so close to their release dates?! The universe is telling you to take a break-so fangirl to your heart’s content, you deserve it.

Cancer-You are full of energy and ideas lately. Make like Allen A. Allen and invent a machine that turns everyone in the world ginger. Sporting coke-bottle glasses, tightly permed hair, buck teeth, and an overly-starched schoolboy shorts suit optional.

Leo-You simply cannot understand why everyone on Earth doesn’t find Rupert Grint gorgeous and talented. To make yourself feel better, use your powers of verbal persuasion to convert one of your friends into a “Rupie Groupie”. Wear them down with an engaging, educational Powerpoint presentation of facts and visual proof that his royal gingerness will one day take over the world with award-winning indie movies.

Virgo-No, you don’t have the swine flu, it’s just the stress affecting your body. Relax, go watch NASCSAR and think of Rupert Grint in a racing suit. Or, go skiing and think of Rupert as Eddie The Eagle in a ski-jumping suit. Either way, the vision will be made of win and you’ll feel much better.

Libra-Someone much younger than you values your opinion and looks up to you. Make a day of watching Harry Potter films, being sure to point out the awesomeness that is Ron Weasley.

Scorpio-Spend some much needed time with your family. It will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, just like watching the Weasley clan at Christmas day. Only you won’t get an itchy jumper as a gift. Score!

Sagittarius-In the mood to spin a yarn or recite poetry aloud? Find a pal who is as nuts about Rupert Grint and Driving Lessons as you are; and hit an open mic night at a club. Dress up like Ben and Evie, and act out the “garden scene” in front of confused strangers. It’ll be great!

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If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant…

A celebrity’s Personal Assistant (PA) has many responsibilities. It is the PA’s job to make appointments, create schedules, and arrange for any number of special requests and requirements. The PA often is responsible for seeing that the celebrity arrives on time with all supplies or equipment he/she needs to be successful on the job at hand. PAs make themselves available to run errands and fulfill various needs of the celebrity.

With all this in mind, I’d like to suggest some of the specific tasks I would like to accomplish in the position as Rupert Grint’s PA. I’m sure Rupert is quite happy with his current PA, but just in case there’s an opening…..

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, on working days I’d make sure he had a ‘live’ wake-up call with a chauffer waiting in the driveway.
Wakey, wakey, Mary Sunshine. See, isn’t it much nicer when I do it, than using that nasty alarm clock?

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I’d make sure he is only seen in public wearing tight black jeans.
You pick out the tee-shirt Rupe, I’ll get the rest.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I’d help him go over his lines from the daily call sheets. Of course, the Hermione/Ron scenes would demand much attention, just to make sure there’s enough emotional integrity.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I would make sure Quentin Tarantino and Bill Murray received a birthday card each year from Rupert.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, he would never miss a phone call or a script sent from his agent.
The title says ‘My Little Pony,’ but I think you should still take a look at it.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I would ask him to help me improve my golf swing.
Now let me see, is this the proper stance? How’s my follow-through? Come over here and show me.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I would carry around an extra cell phone (mobile) for him….just in case.
Bilius, have you seen my mobile? I think I’ve lost it again.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, fans asking for hugs might have to fill-out a personality inventory first.
All Manics and Personality Disorders are dismissed. Obsessives and all others, the line forms on the right. Please wait your turn.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I would have Stickley turn Rupert’s ‘bumcast’ into a lovely new set of chairs and sofa for my living room.
Ahhh, these are the most comfortable chairs I’ve ever sat upon.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I would ask all the Stills Photographers for first pick of Rupert’s set shots.

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, the infamous audition tape would never see the light of day, except when I take it out of the vault to watch it.

And last but not least…

If I was Rupert Grint’s Personal Assistant, I would log in anonymously to the ICM Forum and spill all the juicy bits to you bums.

sarah1
Good news Rupert, I talked to the lads in ‘Props’ at Leavesden. There’s a 75% chance they’ll let me sneak the bumcast out while everyone’s on hiatus!
Rupert Grint with his real PA, Sarah

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Rupert Feeling Just… Swine?

Imagine it is mid-July, and you have been suffering from the heat as it is. Additionally, you are fully dressed in a Hogwarts uniform (including shirt, sweater, coat AND tie) because you are about to watch Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince again, which is also the reason why you are sitting in the foyer of an over-heated cinema.

You have also spent the previous night at the ICM forums instead of going to bed, and your head is filled with thoughts about Rupert, swine flu, Rupert, old Harry Potter films, Rupert, recent interviews, Rupert, your submissions for Grintastic, and Rupert.

So, the heat and Wrackspurts take over and you come up with a very weird idea and share it with a fellow staffer.

This other staffer, who’s mind is also whirring with thoughts about a certain redhead, picks up your ideas, and in the process gets infected with Wrackspurts as well. So she takes the crazy ideas including Wrackspurts, a TV advert, and Ice Cream (Man), and puts them in a “Gritty Shaker”.

And the result… well, let’s just say, don’t take it too seriously. After all, we were under the influence of Wrackspurts. And H1N1. 😉

Starring: Rupert Grint, Daniel Radcliffe
Idea and Screenplay: Karo
Cinematography and Editing: Val
Music: David Holmes
swine-flu-g2 (right-click to save as)

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Super Grint!

It’s a bird!  It’s a plane! No, it’s GINGERMAN!

Comic book mastermind Stan Lee has called upon everybody’s favorite red head, Rupert Grint, to play a character with amazing powers, but this time instead of magical powers he has Super Powers!!  Rupert has signed on to play the lead character in the live action adaption of Stan’s latest comic book entitled GINGERMAN.

gingermanThe story follows an average ginger fellow who comes to find out that the ginger gene is not the genetic defect it was once believed to be but rather the key to the human races evolution to superior beings.

“I have always created characters who defy the odds” says Lee, “and Gingerphobia is an odd that Gingerman defies every time he dons the red and green.”

An orphan born of two gingers, Jimmy Jameson aka Gingerman discovers, as he exits his pubescent phase, that he possesses amazing super powers including the ability to fly, control fire with his mind, and make people enter a hypnotic state by simply looking them in the eyes.  Grint says that playing the first lead ginger super hero is “a wicked experience that I never thought I would get to do.”

“The tights were something that was a little hard to get used to,” said Grint.  “The costume ladies must have lost the measurements a lot because they kept bringing me in for more.  They finally decided it would be best to just do a cast of my whole body, which I thought was a bit much, but they seemed determined to get it.”

GINGERMAN will burn its way onto the screen next summer.

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Smells Like Rupert Grint!

Following in the footsteps of men like P Diddy and David Beckham, Rupert Grint has decided to try his hand at creating a scent to make any man irresistible to a woman. “I began noticing that every time I would hug a fan they would take a big whiff of my neck,” says Grint on finding the inspiration for his first cologne named WICKED.

On coming up with the name Grint said: “When they let me smell the first official batch, I told them it was wicked and the name just stuck.”

Creating the scent was not as easy as naming it however. “We tried a lot of different things like ginger root and old chucks, but those didn’t work so well,” said Grint.

The final scent is said to be modeled after Grint’s actual personal scent and is a combination of many things including meat seasoning, vanilla ice cream, cider, petrol, lucozade, and freshly cut grass from Grint’s favorite golf course.

wickedcologne

WICKED hits shelves this Christmas

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Rupert Grint Makes A Funny!

First there was the Ice Cream Van and now Rupert Grint is fulfilling another childhood fantasy. Rupert has decided to finally put pencil to paper and has begun drawing his own original comic strip. “The Funnies were always my favorite part of the Sunday paper,” says Grint,”and one morning I thought about how wicked it would be to have something I drew in there.”

The strip entitled SHUPERT follows a young ginger by the name of Shupert Clint as he goes on many hilarious adventures on the quest for the perfect prank with his two best friends Gemma Voltson and Manuel Radledge. The trio’s good times are hindered however by the evil school principal named Mr. Groves, who is determined to make sure Shupert never reaches his full prankster potential. Have no fear though, because with brilliant Gemma and quirky Manuel at his side, Shupert shows that no one can stop him from reaching his goal.

When asked on the alluded to “more than friends” relationship between Shupert and Gemma, Grint said “Well, Em and, um, I mean Gemma and Shupert are just really great mates right now.” This lead to the inevitable question of whether this strip was art imitating life for Rupert Grint to which he replied “Yeah, I mean, not really, but I guess maybe a little.”

rupdrawing

The artist working at his desk

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