Capricorn-You have no money, but have an urgent need to meet Rupert Grint at the Deathly Hallows premier in November. Avoid anything foolish, like selling both of your kidneys. Yes, Rupert is sexy, but portable dialysis machines are not sexy. Think of another way to get the money, perhaps you could become a hitman’s apprentice by night…

Aquarius-You desperately need an escape route from real life issues that have torn you away from “Rupertland”. Use your strength, intelligence, and desire to help to make things go smoother. Think, Ron in Deathly Hallows.

Pisces-Need some alone time? Find a quiet space to meditate in; and continuously chant, “Super Rupert, Super Grint,” out loud until it becomes your mantra. By the time you reach transcendence, you will have devised a way to achieve world peace with ice cream and tasteful ginger wigs.

Aries-A night out on the town is just what you need; however, someone may be trying to set you up on a hot date. And no, it’s not Rupert; unfortunately, it never is. But give the potential beau a fighting chance, preferably if you refrain from constantly fantasizing about Rupert’s legs in Wild Target.

Taurus-Smooth-talking your way into gainful employment is going to be quite easy for you in the near future, you should totally do it! Channel the character of Malachy McKinney before your interview to get yourself warmed up. Avoid the quiff and the heavy Irish accent though. Believe me, it won’t flatter you and your possible employer will think you’re focking mental.

Gemini-How can anyone study or get any work done with Cherrybomb and Wild Target so close to their release dates?! The universe is telling you to take a break-so fangirl to your heart’s content, you deserve it.

Cancer-You are full of energy and ideas lately. Make like Allen A. Allen and invent a machine that turns everyone in the world ginger. Sporting coke-bottle glasses, tightly permed hair, buck teeth, and an overly-starched schoolboy shorts suit optional.

Leo-You simply cannot understand why everyone on Earth doesn’t find Rupert Grint gorgeous and talented. To make yourself feel better, use your powers of verbal persuasion to convert one of your friends into a “Rupie Groupie”. Wear them down with an engaging, educational Powerpoint presentation of facts and visual proof that his royal gingerness will one day take over the world with award-winning indie movies.

Virgo-No, you don’t have the swine flu, it’s just the stress affecting your body. Relax, go watch NASCSAR and think of Rupert Grint in a racing suit. Or, go skiing and think of Rupert as Eddie The Eagle in a ski-jumping suit. Either way, the vision will be made of win and you’ll feel much better.

Libra-Someone much younger than you values your opinion and looks up to you. Make a day of watching Harry Potter films, being sure to point out the awesomeness that is Ron Weasley.

Scorpio-Spend some much needed time with your family. It will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, just like watching the Weasley clan at Christmas day. Only you won’t get an itchy jumper as a gift. Score!

Sagittarius-In the mood to spin a yarn or recite poetry aloud? Find a pal who is as nuts about Rupert Grint and Driving Lessons as you are; and hit an open mic night at a club. Dress up like Ben and Evie, and act out the “garden scene” in front of confused strangers. It’ll be great!

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3 Comments

  1. Karo says:

    Dear author!
    I am once again surprised about the accuracy of this horoscope.
    I am a virgo and will indeed go skiing in about 3 weeks time. I will make sure to think of Rupert then.
    Thank you!

  2. Amu says:

    Aries – “A night out on the town is just what you need; however, someone may be trying to set you up on a hot date. And no, it’s not Rupert; unfortunately, it never is. But give the potential beau a fighting chance, preferably if you refrain from constantly fantasizing about Rupert’s legs in Wild Target”

    A night out without Rupert! BUMMER! :-(
    A Hot Date! I WISH!(ok I cant show this page to my husband) :-D
    I prefer Rupert’s Legs to a Hot Beau anyday. So unless the Hot Beau is Rupert I would simply say..’TOUGH LUCK MATE!’ ;-)

  3. francaise3/Marite says:

    Oh! I am gemini – and that was very acurate to say the least! LOL I am so fangirling to see WT and CB!!!!!

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